Only in Miami...

Praise God, our flight to Miami from Chicago was totes uneventful.  And the very nice ladies from the night before (not the two bimbos), put me, Mom, and Annette together so we were able to chat with each other.  We arrived in Miami about 10 am, and our appointment to board the ship was at 11 am, so I never even got to see the hotel room I'd paid for.  Grumble.  Once we got through the airport, our plan was to go straight to the port.

However, getting through the airport was a feat.  First let me say that there is only one way to travel through Miami International Airport, and that is with an elderly person.

We found our luggage, turns out it was Annette's suitcase that went to DFW and then arrived in Miami the afternoon before.  Also, and I'm not sure how this worked out, the other three suitcases made it from Miami to Chicago before we did, too.  With luggage in tow, we checked in with Carnival and boarded the shuttle to the port.  It probably took a lot longer than just Ubering to the port, but it was very convenient.

Of course, in my concern about Mom getting off the shuttle bus safely, I managed to trip and fall.  Frankly, there was a woman in the row behind us who was able to catch and hold me, preventing me from falling all the way - it was either adrenaline or she was very strong - but if it hadn't been for her, I'm pretty sure I'd have broken or, more likely due to my density, sprained something.  Here's a lovely pic of the bruise on my thigh taken that evening.   Only now, as I'm writing almost three weeks later, is the bruise totally gone.  

Again, the way to go on a cruise is with someone elderly or disabled - Kevin, the friendly young man who was toodling Mom around in her wheelchair zoomed us straight past long lines containing tired, grumpy people who were seething with jealousy (mwahahaha!!).

The ship took off at 5 pm and at 6 pm our little group gathered for dinner in our assigned dining room.  We had a long table that held all 12 of us and Mom had suggested that no matter what everyone does during the day, that we all meet for dinner to catch up/check in.   Frankly, I wasn't too excited, mostly because my only experience was the one night during the cat cruise when Annette and I joined the cat people - but we decided that the difference was that we were two introverts among a group of strangers; whereas on this trip, is was a smaller group and everyone knew someone other than just me.  Each evening's dinner was great as we sat and were able chat with different people.

That first night, though, at at table near us, the waiters delivered a dessert and sang "Happy Anniversary" to a couple.  Of course, my loved ones started suggesting they let the waiters know that we were there to celebrate my birthday.  I was like, please, no.  So imagine my shock and dismay when they deliver a dessert to me and start singing "Happy Birthday" - everyone was denying responsibility.  We finally decided that the guilty party was most likely ... ME!  After all, I'd set up the group as celebrating my 50th birthday.  It was a small price to pay, so I didn't disown myself.

After dinner, I was plum tuckered, and remember the day started early for Rose, so I wasn't among the group who went and hung out in the hot tubs - I went to bed.

Tuesday morning, we arrived into Key West.  Now my only personal plan for Key West was to see the polydactyl cats at the Ernest Hemingway house.  Nothing in that sentence should give you the impression that I was remotely interested in Hemingway.  I had to read Old Man and the Sea one year in high school and it has to be one of the worst books I've ever been forced to read.  But there were a couple from the group who were interested in going with me, so we set out.

So we Uber'ed there and were able to scritch and photograph a bunch of adorable cats.  Natalie had no problem rearranging the cats or their feet/toes for art's sake.  One of my favorites was the cat snoozing on the dining table right next to the sign that clearly said NOT to sit on the table.  Well, I guess that technically he wasn't sitting, so...





I felt that if the inhabitants of the place could totally disregard the signs, then we should have been able to disregard the "Do not pick up cats" sign at the door.  I tried to get Natalie and/or Erin to smuggle a cat out in their bras, but neither of them were willing to try it.  Personally, I thought that was rather selfish of them.

Erin's wish for Key West was to try a Cuban sandwich.  After describing it to me, and since it was lunch time, it became one of my wishes as well.  While we waited for Natalie to get a drink, so we could leave, one of the tour guides at the Hemingway house overheard our discussion and mentioned that the best Cuban on the island was at a restaurant just a block down the street.  So we trotted down the street and had lunch.  It was very good and I see no reason why I couldn't make them at home.

That afternoon, the ship took off again, headed for Cozumel.  After dinner, Janna (my college roomie who of course had to explain to all why she calls me "Bunz!") wanted to do Karaoke, so the whole gang headed down there.  I'd never seen Karaoke, except for on TV, so it was fun - several of the performers, including Janna and Erin, were very good.

Haley had this overwhelming urge to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, but wanted someone to sing with her.  Natalie Googled and discovered that the first rule of performing Karaoke is to NOT perform "Bohemian Rhapsody," so it was decided to go with "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night.

I will close now with a video of the performance.  (Left to right - Holly, Natalie, Rose, Erin, and Haley)

Leaving Las Veg...err.. Evansville

A couple of years ago, I went on a "Cat Cruise" with my friend Annette. At one point, while wandering the hallways, looking for our cabin, I passed a door adorned with "Happy 50th Anniversary" decorations and thought how great of an idea.  Then it occurred to me that the earliest possible time I could take a cruise for my 50th anniversary would be 50 years, and that assumed I got married that evening.  Since a wedding wasn't on my itinerary any time soon, despite that Facebook quiz I took, I thought a cruise to celebrate my 50th birthday which was, at that time, 2 years away would be a fun alternative!

I wrote an email to a variety of my friends and family giving them two years' notice and after a bunch of emails, the date was set and a group totaling 12 people were ready to fly to Miami to board the Carnival Victory to sail to Key West and then Cozumel and back.

I've always been hesitant to co-mingle my friends.  Mixing school friends with church friends; or work friends with..., well, you get my drift.  I think my main concern was always whether or not the people I liked would like each other or not. 

But I said to heck with that and sent out an email giving everyone two years’ notice and two quick years later, we were packing our bags for a cruise!  There were 12 of us in all - me, Mom, my aunt and uncle (the token male), the sibs, three nieces, my college roommate, and two other friends.

Now, the good Lord knows that I have a love/hate, or maybe more hate/hate, relationship with the¿ TSA, so when our boarding passes printed off in Evansville with “TSA Pre-check” printed on them, I was cautiously optimistic.  Not only was I not violated by a stranger, I didn’t even have to take my shoes off!

Our flight was scheduled to leave at 6:30 am for Dallas/Fort Worth.  About 6 am, they announce that the flight would be delayed and would leave at 8am.  Now normally, that would have been ok because the way I originally booked the flights, we had like a 3+ hour layover in DFW, but American Airlines took it upon themselves to change that flight to an earlier one and now we only had an hour, and consequently, we were going to miss that connection.

So they rebook us on a 1:00 pm flight to Chicago, and instead of arriving in Miami in the afternoon, we would be arriving at 10:30 pm.  The makings of a long day for Mom, but, ok.  We were assured that Annette’s and my luggage would be rerouted to Chicago, we left the airport and went to Denny’s for breakfast and then went to hang at the condo until time to return to the airport.

Then, every so often, I’d get an update advising that our flight was delayed to 1:30, then 2, 2:30, 3, 3:30, and finally 4.  It looked like it would be 4, since there weren’t anymore alerts, so we returned to the airport, of course new boarding passes meant no more pre-check, but only my left ankle had to be frisked, so it was ok.

Now, all of these rando facts are relevant so bear with.  As I’m up at the counter checking mom and Annette’s carry on luggage, my phone beeps, flight rescheduled to 4:30. Since I’m there, I take the opportunity to point out that the delay gets us in Chicago dangerously close to our connection flight's takeoff time.  She assures me it’ll be ok.  This flight is leaving on time.  Then, since I hadn’t made a big enough nuisance of myself, I said that according to their app, it appeared that one of our previously checked bags was in Dallas.  She confirmed that it was in fact on a plane to Miami but it would wait for us there.  Before that conversation ends, another alert, "plane leaving at 5," so we will now officially miss our connection.  The very nice woman assures me that the plane is leaving at 4:30 and to ignore that alert.

The flight left Evansville at exactly 5 pm and landed in Chicago 2 minutes after the flight to Miami left.  Once again, I’m stuck in Chicago overnight.  But all’s cool, by now I’m old hat at this.  I make a beeline to a girl behind a counter- let me point out that she doesn’t look like she is very busy, or else I would have waited, because I am kind and respectful that way.  She looks at me and tells me, “I’m busy, you'll need to ask someone else."  I'm thinking, ok, you're a great ad for American Airlines.... and I go to the other girl at the counter.  She's helpful, gets our flights rebooked for the next morning.  Then, I asked about what they were going to do about a hotel.  She looked something up and told me that the reason for the delay was "traffic-related" and the airlines weren't responsible for that and wouldn't get us a room.

At this point, "Assertive Rosemary" (as Annette called her) came out to play.  I said, "no, that's unacceptable" and pointed out that if American had left my flights the way I'd booked them, we'd be in Miami with our luggage.  She said she couldn't do anything about it, so I told her I wanted to speak with someone who could.  She said I'd need to go to to customer service at gate blah-blah.  I said, great, and that I wanted a wheelchair for my 77 year old mother because she was exhausted, and I'd wait right there at her counter until it got there.  I was livid.  I could hear Annette whispering to Mom that she'd never seen Assertive Rosemary before, and I turned around and said it was because she rarely comes out to play.

When we got to where she was directing me, I took a deep breath and started out nice - after all, I ought to give these ladies a chance to fail me first... but the ladies behind that counter were outraged on my behalf, looked up who the two bimbos were and, as it turns out, one of the nice ladies was the bimbos' supervisor!  Hah!  They looked it up and said that there should have been no question, yes, we get rooms, so we got rooms, meal vouchers, etc., and found the shuttle to the hotel.  The hotel had a nice restaurant where Mom got the incredibly nutritious meal of an apple tart with ice cream.  Annette and I shared a cheeseburger and homemade hummus - our vouchers covered it totally.  We get to our rooms, set our alarms for 3:30 am, and pass out.