I'll Call You Betty, and You Can Call Me... Well, Don't Call Me

We have this new (relatively) person at our office.  Actually, if you read my blog about a month or so ago regarding the woman who put in her notice and then just stopped coming back to work, the new person is the woman they hired to replace her.  I'm pretty sure she came from a temp agency, but I don't dare hope that that means that we'll be rid of her after a certain amount of time.   First of all, let's give her a name.  The last one was Abigail, I believe, so let's name this one Betty and hope that there aren't 24 more coming behind her.   I generally have an open mind toward new people and give them the opportunity to annoy me before beginning to hate them, so the first week was pretty ok.  She was just getting to know people, and vice versa.  It was the second week that I started thinking that I'm going to have to hate her.  What follows are snippets of conversations, after a little bit of background, I have had with this woman which have led me to this conclusion.   Exhibit A - at the end of her second week, one of our co-workers (Shawna) was having her 30th birthday and another girl (Amy) and I were coordinating having a few decorations and munchies being brought in.  I decided to bring in a crock-pot with the Velveeta/Rotel tomatoes dip and chips.   As I'm over in Shawna and "Betty's" area decorating the night before, I was telling Shawn (our office manager/the woman who taught me how to knit) what munchies were coming as far as I knew and I mentioned my Velveeta stuff and that I generally fry up a pound of sausage and add it in there – after all, I am, if nothing else, a carnivore.  Betty – oh, you shouldn't put sausage in it. Me – because..? Betty – we have several vegetarians here, you know (like I haven' worked here for 9 plus years) Me (sort of flabbergast) – uh… Shawn – well, we only have two vegetarians, and I'm one of them, and I don't care if she puts meat in it. Betty – Well, and I'm leery of meat. (Like what does that mean? Does she peer around corners in case there's a T-bone waiting to pounce?) Me – yeah, well, I'll think about it.   So this really bothered me.  I mean, I wanted to put my sausage in it, and here this newbie has me second guessing myself.  I talked to mom about it, and she asked how many people would be eating this… I said that we have about 60 people working at our office.  Mom further asked again how many vegetarians there were, I told her two… and Betty is leery of meat.  Mom said that I could either put the meat in and not worry about it, or go ahead and fry the meat, and put it in a bowl near the cheese, so people could choose.  As I was putting the dip together the next morning, I said (to myself, as mom was still asleep), to heck with Betty!   So, I got to work and set up the food.  Shawna and Amy got there early, and I told them about the whole "leery of meat" conversation, because frankly I was still blown away that someone still very new to the place would be so pushy.  Later Shawna sneaks over to my desk to tell me that Betty, upon watching Shawna make herself a plate of chips and (sausage filled) dip, asked her if there were meat in the dip.  Shawna (being privy to the whole incident) said, "Yes, and it is great!" shoving a chip in her mouth!   Exhibit B – I generally exhibit a happy persona.  I don't feel the need to share my thoughts and other issues with the world, just with my few close friends and the world via my blog.  Consequently, people become used to me being happy and perky…. Just not until after 10 am or so.  The problem with this is that if I am tired or just don't feel like putting forth the effort of being "on," people assume that there's something wrong with me, that I'm either upset or sick.  In reality, I'm just sitting there breathing.  Depending on my mood, it can really piss me off when someone comes over and asks if I'm ok because I'm just not myself today.  Inside I'm thinking that I AM being myself, it's the rest of the time that they're looking at the façade that isn't me.  Whoa, I'm getting borderline deep, here, so I better get back to my shallow rants.   Anyway, during the third week of Betty's employment, she comes over to me, not once, but twice in the same day, and Betty – are you ok? Me – yes..? Betty – well, you just don't seem yourself today. Me – I'm fine.   Ok, nothing can ruin my mood faster than to have someone tell me I'm in a bad mood… especially Betty, who I was in the process of deciding whether or not to be leery of.   Hahahahaha!  I mean, even prior to the whole sausage incident, we'd exchanged maybe 5 conversations?  In two weeks!  This woman doesn't KNOW me.  Why does SHE think she can judge my mood!?   Well, after the second "are you ok?" incident, she must've got the message and she left me alone for, oh, probably the next couple of weeks.  However, (and I have to laugh at this), she started in on Shawna with the "are you ok?'s")  I feel for Shawna, as she has to work across from Betty.  But then I remember that Shawna's getting ready to be gone on vacation for a week later this month, and if Betty has problems, or gets lonely, you just KNOW she's heading my way… so I don't feel for Shawna as much.   Exhibit C – Yesterday, I come back from lunch with a box of cat food samples.  There was an incident on Wednesday when Jennifer and I went to lunch.  It was my turn to drive and upon returning her safely to her office, afterwards, Jennifer opened the car door and shrieks upon seeing a mouse sitting right there IN MY CAR, at the door.  The mouse is no longer in my car, as Jennifer booted it out the door with her umbrella, but I was LEERY of leaving the cat food in my car, in case Mickey had a friend who had yet to pop his mangy little head out of hiding.    Back to yesterday, as I come around the corner to my desk, this other girl, Melanie comes toward my desk from the opposite way, sees the box in my arms and: Melanie - What'cha got in the box!? Me - Cat food samples. Melanie (with eyes big and wide) - Really? (she seen the McDonald's bag full of trash on the top of the box and thought they'd put the samples in it) Me - Yeah (removing the trash and tossing it) but I had a mouse in my car yesterday… (At this point, Betty appears OUT OF NOWHERE) Betty - Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to leave cat food in the car with a mouse in there. Me (looking at Melanie and ignoring Betty) - … so I didn't want to leave it in the car, in case he's still there. Mel - Really?!  A mouse! Betty - Where do you shop? Me (to Mel) - Yes, I drove my friend Jennifer and I to lunch and as I was letting her out back at the office, she shrieked and said there what a mouse in the car!  And I asked if it was still there (thinking it ran when she shrieked as I was tempted to)…. Betty - And she said NOT ANY LONGER! Hahahaha! Me (beginning to be really peeved) - … and she pushed him out the door with her umbrella handle and said "not any longer"   At this point, Melanie, probably sensing that I was feeling homicidal and she didn't want to be my first victim, wandered off… so Betty resumes interrogating me about what brand of cat food and where I shop, etc.   I'll be sure to keep you informed of more Betty related events (as there will, no doubt, be plenty), but as for now, I have officially decided that I do not like her, Sam I Am.  I will not like her in the rain, I will not like her on a train, I will not like her on a boat, I will not like her with a goat.  You get the point.