Review - Toy Story 3

(Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen this movie, there may be information in this review that might be considered a “spoiler” - although I consciously try not to put major spoiler info in my reviews. Proceed with caution.)

Mom and I went to go see Toy Story 3 the other weekend. I had enjoyed the previous two Toy Story’s and figured this one would be good, too, but I honestly wasn’t aching to go see it. Mom wanted to, though, and there wasn’t anything else on that I really wanted to see, so we were off….

Just the night before, I had read the article in my Entertainment Weekly which was entitled something like “Why Toy Story 3 is Making Grown Men Cry.” I thought, ok, I can do with a good cry. After all, I cry at the drop of a cookie.

Plot-wise, there were no surprises because I’d seen the preview. That is not to say that it wasn’t fun. Basically, Andy (the toys’ owner) has grown up and is preparing to leave for college. His mother makes him go through his toys and separate them into categories: 1) going with me to college; 2) storing in the attic; 3) to be donated to a daycare; and 4) going to the dump. By mistake, the toys get put in the “dump” pile and set out for the trash man. DO NOT FEAR, though, the intrepid toys make their escape from the trash man in the nick of time and decide to jump into the “daycare” pile. Also in the daycare pile is Andy’s kid sister’s Barbie doll. This is relevant because when the toys get to the daycare, she discovers Ken, the doll of her dreams. At first the toys are very happy with their decision, because life at the daycare seems wonderful, but then they discover that not all kids are so kind and loving to their toys as Andy was, and they decide to escape.

Long story short, they do. But the way they do was pretty funny. At one point, after Ken breaks Barbie’s heart, Barbie encourages him to put on a fashion show of his (mostly) 70’s era clothing in order to keep him from his post. To the beat of disco music and under a mirrored ball!

I’m not sure why grown men have been crying at this movie. I will admit, I did shed a tear, but only one. I don’t recall what reason the Entertainment Weekly article gave for all the tears. Frankly, I lose interest in most articles by the end of the first column.

Speaking of articles, there was a review in the paper by somebody who was having problems with the movie because its plot wasn’t very strong. To this person I have to ask, what was he expecting? King Lear!? Exhibit “A” – talking toys; Exhibit “B” – not just a sequel, but a threequel; Exhibit “C” – it’s a movie made for CHILDREN! Moe-ron!

So what did I learn by going to see Toy Story 3? I did not learn why grown men are sobbing when they go see it. I learned that movie reviewers can be morons. I learned that while a bear might be friendly on the outset, just like Stephen Colbert has preached for the past several years, bears are god-less killing machines. And I learned that the field of movies so far this summer has sucked. Sigh…

Long review short, rent Toy Story 3, it isn’t necessary to see it on the “big screen”, and have a box of tissues handy if you’re a man.