Merle - A True Man

I have come to the conclusion that Merle, although some parts may be missing or nonfunctional, is a true man.    His appointment for his calendar photograph was Saturday, the 16th.  The last time I saw him was Monday, the 11th. I went outside each morning, lovingly carrying his bowl of Meow Mix and called in my not-quite-so-dulcet-it's-7-AM-voice for him to come to breakfast.  I would place it on the porch and call him until my voice cracked or the cold concrete made my feet run inside on their own volition due to frostbite.  Nothing.   But that was ok.  I knew that he would show up on Saturday morning, like a normal man, all "what!?"  Looking innocent and handsome and making me want to punt him to Poseyville and give him loving scritches at the same time.    Each morning, the tone of my voice grew more frantic and my feet were able to withstand higher levels of hypothermia because I knew that this was an important mission.   Saturday morning.  His appointment is at 8:15.  I've timed the trip and I know it will take 30 minutes to get there.  I wake up at 6:00 - I SET THE ALARM FOR A SATURDAY!  I don't do this often and generally it's for important things like meeting the Pope!  Not that I've met the Pope, or am even Catholic, that is not the point.  Not only did I set the alarm for 6, but I actually got up at 6.  I got ready and did a little farming, because a girl has her priorities, and at 6:45 I went outside just knowing that the handsome devil would be there.    He was not.  I called.  And called.  Nothing.   I went back inside and played solitare on my iPhone.  (Have I blogged that I went ahead and got my iPhone? - more on that later, I'm sure.)    7:00 - I went outside and called.  Nothing.   Have I mentioned that I woke up with a sore throat and aching head?  I would have given anything to say screw it and go back to bed.  But I KNEW this was important, damn it!   Back inside.  The indoor bunch think I've gone mad... and I'm not sure they are wrong.   7:15 -- outside - nothing.   7:30 -- ditto.   7:45 -- I call the photographers and reschedule the diva's (is there a male diva?) appointment.  Now he has an appointment for tomorrow morning.  But I'm not overly concerned because I've talked to the paper and if he doesn't get his picture taken, they will print the picture we submitted.  And frankly, I don't care how good Bob Straub is, I've met Merle.  I've taken Merle's picture.  I don't see Bob Straub getting a better picture than the one Haley took.  So we'll see what happens.  Now that we have a contingency plan, I'm guessing he'll be sitting on the front porch looking at me all handsome like tonight when I get home.  Sigh.