I am back at work this week, after an entire month off, and it has gone pretty well. I've figured out a few things and sort of settled into a routine of sorts.
Monday, well, Monday was Memorial Day, so I didn't have to work. But I did have to think about work and how I didn't have any bras that fit – and consequently, because they didn't fit, they caused gi-normous back pain. So Mom and I headed out to the far east side of town, (Mom packed a lunch!) and I got some new ones at Sears. Could have got the size that fit, but the next size down (still a C, thank you very much, Holly!) fit, even though it was tight, so I got two of that size instead so they would last longer. (So if you see me in a corner adjusting myself, that would be why!)
Tuesday, I woke early, chugged part of my protein shake which, let me just say that if you're even slightly nauseated in the early mornings, as I am, is not the easiest thing to do. Where was I? Oh, then I set out on my walk. Now, in our condo area, we live in the building farthest from the road, so my route is to walk to the road, cross it, and walk up the hill to our church and then around the church 3-4 times, then back. Mom suggested, and I immediately discounted because obviously I know better, that I only walk once around the church, so as not to tire myself since I have to go to work. As you might guess, I circumnavigated the church 3 times and then walked back home, took a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast while farming, and then was ready to go to work. Well, let me say here and now, Mom was right. After all of that, I was pooped and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed. It was 7:45 a.m.! Sigh.
As I left the condo that morning, I started to wonder exactly why it was that I felt that 4 weeks off to recuperate would be better than 6. Especially since Steve was going to be on vacation both this and next week. Sure Carrie might like me to be there to do stuff for her, since Steve isn't there to suck up the bulk of my time, but… pssshhh… But I went. I have to say that everybody gave me a very warm welcome back. But then, after the immediate thrill of everyone commenting on my return and how fab I look, they expected me to sit in that chair and work for 8 hours! Yikes! Did I mention I was pooped!?
I got through the morning, ate lunch at my desk – by the way, it is much easier to drag a meal, any meal, but especially a 2 ounce meal, out for 30 minutes when you're sitting at your desk and working at the same time – then I took an hour nap in the naproom over my lunch hour. That got me through the afternoon and then home.
The rest of the week has been pretty similar. Although I have made the following observations:
- Vanilla Boost is the most horrendous thing ever to pass my lips with the possible exception of that barium I had to drink for the pre-op testing.
- Eating 2 ounces of pureed meat and some generic veggie while everyone else in the room is eating gooey, greasy pizza is not fun. However, to the people sitting beside me, if you're not going to finish the piece on your plate, at least get it out of my arm's reach so I'm not tempted to rip that pepperoni off of it and suck the greasy, cheesy goodness off of it.
- Eating cottage cheese for breakfast is much more fun when you're sitting on the couch and trying to fend off a 10 pound cat (Cleo) who has developed a LOVE of cottage cheese. I think that should count as part of my daily workout routine.
- Flintstone vitamins are not as fun as I always assumed they would be before I HAD to take them.
- I would kill, literally KILL, anyone of your choosing for a big ol'glass of iced tea, sweet or un, but preferably sweet since I'm daydreaming, with a STRAW in it. I never realized how much I loved straws until I was told I couldn't use them. And I really miss caffeine. I accidentally had some the other day and I felt like a totally different woman. BTW, Memo to the Crystal Light people – don't assume that just because the box says "Energy" that the poor schlub buying it is going to realize that it contains caffeine. Put the word in big bold letters on the front of the box!
- If I see that commercial for Applebee's, the one where they're announcing their new grilled entrees and you see the steak covered in onions, mushrooms, and cheese, again, I may have to jump off of the couch and plunge my fist into the tv. Dear State Farm Insurance Agent - Would my homeowner's insurance cover that?
- Work would be much better if I could do it from my lounge chair on the balcony with a cat on my lap. I may bring that up at my next review.
- Weighing every morning may work for some people (i.e., my mother), but it's just making me borderline psycho. If that number doesn't go down soon, even just by 1 number, I am going to have to increase my Paxil!
- I think all 48 of the pounds I've lost so far have come off of my butt. One would think that that is a good thing, considering the size of my pre-op butt, but… When I sit in a certain place for too long, my butt gets sore. I'm thinking I've lost a lot of padding that was nice to have. Would it look weird if I walked around carrying a pillow to sit on?
So in answer to the ubiquitous question, "Are you happy to be back at work?" No! That's just crazy. Who wants to work for a living when they could get up, watch Regis, farm/dig for treasure and/or kill zombies, watch Days of Our Lives, nap on the balcony, have dinner, farm/dig for treasure and/or kill zombies, and go to bed every day!? People who say to me, "I bet you got bored," they don't know me very well! I am, however, happy to be back amongst friends and co-workers who I have actually missed. I'm happy to relieve poor Jennifer, up in the collection department, of having to deal with Steve regarding his spreadsheets and reports and stuff. Although I firmly believe it did him good to miss me for a while, I like Jennifer and don't feel the need to torture her any more. I'm happy to have a job where I generally enjoy what I do and who I work for. (We'll disregard the times in the past that Steve's made me cry as they were hormone-induced.) And I'm very happy that I work indoors in a comfy office, with air-conditioning, especially since it's supposed to be 94 degrees today and Rose doesn't like to sweat. So yes, I'm happy to be back. But I'm going to have to step up my pursuit of a sugar daddy who can keep me in the style to which I've become accustomed during the past month, because, damn it! I miss Regis!
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