In 2009, I made a damn good pot of chili and I think I should have won. I was robbed. Let me point out that the most important key to winning is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION... of your crock pot, that is. In 2009, I got there late that day, I don't recall why, and by the time I got there all of the prime spots were taken and my lowly little crock pot was stuffed in the far corner with another crock pot filled with grey chili - it was grey in color and in flavor. It was gross - and the attorney who brought it in knew it and boldly said that he just put anything that was in his refrigerator into it. So consequently, anyone who went over to that table, saw the grey stuff and immediately turned away without giving my lovely chili any consideration.
In 2010, I wasn't able to do anything about my miffedness over being robbed because I was in Washington DC attending the Stewart/Colbert Rally for Insanity. But I knew my day would come.
This year, the theme was "Little Schop of Horrors." Don't write in and tell me I misspelled the name, I didn't make a mistake. One of the managing partners is named Schopmeyer and Greg, the attorney/creative mind behind the chili cook-off thought it was a great idea and that we could superimpose Schop's picture over the plant in photos/decorations. (see below)
The rules of the cook off are simple, there are three categories: traditional, spicy, and non-traditional. The votes are $1 each with no limit as to how many you can purchase. The top vote-getters in each category win the medal for best in category. The top vote getter of the category winners wins the travelling trophy and bragging rights. This year, for the first time, Greg also got an adorable smaller trophy that the grand champion got to keep - it was adorable. I wanted it.
My friend Ashley and I discussed it to death and came to the following conclusions: no entrants in the spicy or non-traditional categories have ever won the grand prize. We both wanted to win - her because she wanted the travelling trophy for the next year and me because I wanted the cute little keeper. Therefore, we both needed to make traditional chili. But our running against each other might result in a splitting of the vote and allow a dark horse to come from behind and snipe it from us. So first we discussed my not entering any chili. But I really wanted to make chili.
So I contemplated making a spicy chili. But honestly, I don't know how to make a "spicy" chili. My mom thinks my chili is plenty spicy, but she has a wussy palate. So then we contemplated Ashley making and entering her traditional chili and making and ME entering her spicy chili (which in retrospect would've worked because she said that the ONLY spicy entrant that we ended up with ...ergo the winner of that category...was no way as spicy as her spicy chili!) Ah, hindsight.
Then I set my sight on the non-traditional category. Shawn, our HR peep, was going to make chocolate chili cupcakes - in another life, Shawn was/will be a famous cupcake maker. So, being a fan of the Food Network, having read Like Water for Chocolate, and seen the movie "Chocolat" many times over, I knew that chocolate and chili (the spice, not the dish) go well together. I got on the Google and found several recipes for Chocolate Chili. I picked the one that had ingredients we were likely to have or be able to find and decided I'd enter the non-traditional category with chocolate chili. But, having never made it before, thought maybe we should make it before hand to see how it was. This was a good idea because while it wasn't bad, it wasn't a winner. And I really ought to get on and find that recipe again, just so I can make a comment to the person who commented on the recipe about how it's such a fab dish and gets raves everywhere she takes it. LIAR!!
Now it's Saturday (the cook off was on Monday), and I'm back to the start. I just decided WTF! I was going to make my chili and what happened, happened.
Sunday afternoon, I dug out all of my chili ingredients which I had purchased before all of the above waffley angst and started making chili. Meat, check. Onion, a big one. Celery, potatoes and beans, enough but not a lot. Tomatoes, diced and sauce, check. Salt, garlic, chili powder, check, check. check. Hot sauce. I got to the fridge and look for the bottle that I know mom not too long ago because we ran out back when I was in the baby food stage post-op. I find the bottle and it has a Big Lots price tag on it and I'm thinking "hmm.. how strange that she went and got that at Big Lots." But I put it in my chili nonetheless. As I'm returning the bottle to the fridge, I find the bottle that mom bought at Schnucks a couple of months ago and realize that the Big Lots bottle was the one that was in my fridge for years at one or both of my apartments... therefore, nice and, uh.. well-aged. If I say so myself, it was very good. Duncan thought it could use more spice. Mom said it was spicy enough and had a big glass of milk with hers for dinner.
Monday morning, I reheated it, tasted it, added more salt (as the potatoes must've soaked it all up) and chili power, and poured it into my lucky crockpot. Ok, our only crockpot. I've been working a lot of OT at work lately on a big project, so I got there shortly after 7am and put my crockpot in a good spot. (Remember, LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!) I then emailed Boss #1 Steve, Boss #2 Carrie, and Jake (one of the attorney who has a special place in his heart for my biscuits and gravy) that if, when they go in to eat at lunchtime, they recognize my adorable little white crockpot with purple grapes and green leaves on it and feel sentimental toward it because of all the good biscuit and gravy memories and it compels them to vote for it's contents, to go with the feeling. (No one said that campaigning was against the rules!)
Long story short, when all the votes were tallied, my chili had won not only the non-traditional category, but the big trophy too boot! (see picture).
As usual, there were rumblings about ballot-stuffing. I say that no one prevented them from spending all the money that they would normally donate toward the holiday family in December in October on chili voting. Plus, my chili got 95 votes. I know that I did not 1) spend $95 dollars; or B) even put all of my votes into my pot - I shared some with Ashley and I put some in Deborah's Buffalo Wing Chili (I got the recipe, BTW) which was terrific and won it's category. Therefore, other people must've voted for my chili!
I did offer Ashley possession of the big trophy, but she declined. Next year, she will win. I'm sure. :)
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