Vacation Blog '10 - Day Six - The Long and Winding Road

I told Natalie that we were getting up early to come home on Friday, but I failed to actually set an alarm. Fortunately my bladder was on its regular schedule and we awoke about 7-ish. We packed and and checked out (after a little flirting with Alex, the cute kid behind the desk), we were on the road by 8:30 am and feeling good about ourselves!

Just a couple of things prevented us from making the trip in a cool 11 hours like the trip down. First, mine and Natalie's bladders were not on the same schedule like they were on the trip down from Indiana, so our potty breaks were doubled. Second, we stopped for gas several times instead of just the once like on the trip down. And finally, there were a variety of side trips that had to be made. But I digress.

The mishap of the day happened about an hour into the trip when Natalie realized that she couldn't find her cell phone. So she used mine to call Alex at the front desk to see if they could look in the room to find it. After a couple of calls, supposedly housekeeping looked and didn't find it. Natalie thinks that it was in the bedlinens and that housekeeping probably accidentally washed it in with the sheets. And frankly that is a logical assumption in my book. However, just in case, we also called all of the restaurants that we visited since the last time she remembers having the phone. As of this writing, still no phone. I suppose I should have turned around and gone back to the hotel, but we were already an hour away and if we'd gone back, it would have added two more hours onto an already long trip. I still feel guilty though.

To make Natalie feel better about losing her phone, we stopped at what I think must be the official state restaurant of Alabama - Waffle House. I swear there were a good 20 Waffle Houses that we passed in Alabama! God alone knows how many we didn't see!

Back on the road, just past the Alabama/Tennessee state line, Gnarley pointed out that we probably ought to stop and get gas. I should have been able to see that he was up to something, but I stopped. When I get back in the car after filling up, he's gone! Where did we find him?? As you can see below, he was on his way across the parking lot to the Boobie Bungalow! Good thing Natalie can run fast! She caught and nabbed him, and I sped out of there. He spent the rest of the trip fuming in the back seat... didn't say much, but you could hear him muttering something about mutiny.

The remainder of the trip, I'm happy to say, was uneventful. We got back to Wadesville about 8:30, got all of our loot inside the house, and Rose was in bed by 10! Whew! A whirlwind trip if ever there was one and it's time for bed and to dream of the next adventure... of course, we'll have to keep a leash on Gnarley. G'night!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Five - The Final Hurrah

Today was our last day at the beach and the forecast was for high 50's and sunny. Natalie was determined to get some sun or die trying. So we got up at a leisurely 9:30-ish and after a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch, starting gathering our accoutrement for the beach. (Towels, flip-flops, books, phones, ipods, cameras, bucket, shovel, sunglasses, and sunscreen/oil.) As we arrived on the beach it felt nippy but good. We dumped our stuff for a walk on the sand and after like 3 feet, wimpy Natalie trotted back to the swimming pool/lounge chair area because it was warmer (less breezing) than the beach.

I braved the chill and took a lovely walk down the beach. I did not get my feet wet and that helped keep them warm. I found a bench made of sand and sat down to say a prayer for Sophie (that'll be another blog) and just generally absorb the waves, but then decided Natalie was right and it would be warmer by the swimming pool area.

This is a good time for today's Dear Tom, as it was on this walk that I found the subject of today's question. First the most recent word from Tom:

Natalie is correct, the holes in the sand when the tides goes out are air holes for little crabs (sand crabs, I believe). You can dig them out (they don't have shells) ... the sea gulls go nuts for them ... fine dining I suppose.

Thank you Tom. Now for today's question:

Dear Tom,

See this picture? Do you think this piece of flotsam/jetsom could be from the Dread Pirate Roberts' ship? Thank you for your assistance in making this week fun AND relatively educational. Now back to our blog...

So picture this (and no, I don't have any pics as I thought it would look creepy for me to be taking pics of Nat in a bikini), Natalie is in her bikini - covered in sunscreen/oil and all decked out on her towel, timing her laying out so she'll know when to flip over, doing everything she can for sun. I am sitting there, indian-style, fully-dressed (see above pic), with a hat on, reading a book. Guess who gets the sunburn. Yup, you guessed it. My nose is a shocking shade of red as is the skin that was above my neckline (fortunately not on my scarlet pimpernel, as I'm sure the dual itching caused by both would drive me to madness) and, oddly enough, the underside of my chin. Very weird. But we had a nice peaceful time listening to our pods and her snoozing and me reading my not-so-smutty book.

We didn't really go anywhere or do anything else for the rest of the day. There was a nap in the room, some more NCIS, and the playing of Treasure Madness. But along about 5-ish, the power of advertising wins us over and we decided that we really needed to find (and go to) an Olive Garden. We had two choices, Pensacola and Mobile. In retrospect, I may have been wrong, but I said the Pensacola one would be closer and easier to find. We were starving and therefore it made the trip all the more unbarably long, but thanks to Jason and the girl behind the counter at the Panera Breads in the mall at Pensacola, we found the Olive Garden. The two of us were seated at a lovely table for six! and we gorged ourselves on breadsticks, salad, and their newly advertised (thus our submission to the power of suggestion is complete) the Four Cheese Stuffed Pansotti with Chicken. It was delicious.

By the time we were ready to leave to go back to the hotel, Jason was ready to take a dirt nap. Frankly, we almost had to call Nat's parents and have them Mapquest directions for us back to the hotel. Fortunately for Jason, he was able to eek us back to a road that looked familiar before he died or else his dirt nap would have been long-term.

The day didn't hold much excitement, other than the potential for being lost in Florida, but we were tired and satisfied with our selves by the time we got back, so we watched Burn Notice and went to sleep. After all, tomorrow is another long car ride north!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Four - Part Deux

Ok, so as predicted, a big part of the day was spent as depicted in this picture.

Except you have to picture the TV about three feet behind Natalie showing the NCIS marathon.

But we did go out in search of food. Lunch was at Moe's Original Bar B Que. We got pulled pork (Nat got the sandwich, I just got the platter), mac & cheese, and she got green beans and I got potato salad. Everything was scrumptious. Natalie could not finish her sandwich, so she packed it in her purse. It is still there. :)

We came back to the hotel, spent more time on the net and with Gibbs and his crack team. About 4-ish, I realized that the sun was out. So after that episode of NCIS was over, I put on my pants and went out for a walk. The sun kept the hypothermia at bay while I walked about 2o minutes, but then the sun set and each of my little piggies started freezing one by one. The eleven of us made it to the hotel just in time.

At this point, I'll interrupt to bring today's information from Dear Tom. Frankly, don't get your hopes up, I'm losing faith in the man... sigh...

Tom says: The Georgia pine went on vacation and left one of its offspring behind. Also, the shells belong to Gary and another family member. He clearly took a break from Spongebob.

Hmm.. Ok, another question for today. Dear Tom, while walking down the beach, we notice that as the water goes back out, little holes/air bubbles appear in the sand. Natalie says that this is due to tiny creatures living in the sand. Can you identify these Lilliputians for us? (Sorry, I do not have a picture to accompany this question, so I've attached a picture of Winifred peeking out from the blankets on the bed.)

Dinner tonight was at a restaurant recommended to Natalie by the "cute-sounding" guy at the front desk, the Harbour Grill. It was a lovely restaurant. We were seated beside a quartet of snowbirds and between us, Natalie and I now know enough about their lives to write their biographies. Our waiter was from Spain, and today was his first day. We were, in fact, his second table. This fact became obvious after Natalie and I ordered the crab and brie quesadilla only to have him and some woman (possibly the manager?) come tell us that due to the cold weather they were out of (and therefore not able to serve) crab. Then, after giving our order to the manager-type woman, he kept coming back to ask us questions like what salad dressing we wanted, and he asked Natalie if she wanted a salad (as her entree did not come with one) three times!

That we were his only table was obvious because he kept coming and just standing and chatting non-intelligibly with us. We learned about the nightlife in Orange Beach, specifically his preference for gay bars, although he made it clear that he was straight and his love of travel. We learned that his friend, who wanted to be a pilot, was at a tomato festival of some sort in Spain where people throw tomatos, and he got hit in the eye with a tomato, and he is now a mechanic.

Meanwhile, one of the snowbirds told everyone about her two brothers (including the twin) who are going bald, another told that he was getting his license taken away (due to his age, one presumes) and another told about her nephew, the Michael Jackson impersonator. This meal takes the prize for being the most memorable.

When we returned to the hotel, Natalie took this picture of the "License Plate of the Trip" - it tickled us to no end. Well, that's it for today. We're tucked in and watching Psych and Burn Notice before turning in.

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Four

First, I woke up at a tad before 10AM!! Let me just say that this is not like me. But it sure is nice. The high today is supposed to be in the 40's and rainy. It isn't rainy, but as I stick my head out on the balcony, it sure is chilly! I've made the decision that late-March is good, but late February is cold! Yikes!

However, there are no regrets to my vacation. I haven't had anyone coming to me wanting anything for several days right now and it feels wonderful. Also, I'm really enjoying the time to get to know my neice. She's certainly a different girl. I have been reminded that she could talk to a brick wall. Yesterday afternoon, while we were at the tattoo place, she just rambled on and on. Too funny.

The other thing that I have discovered is that she has a severe drinking problem. Before we left, mom and I went shopping for snackies. I bought a 24-pack of bottled water. Mom said "you won't need that much water, will you?" I told her that we'd just bring home whatever we didn't drink. Well, Natty-boo chugged down 3 on her first day! Last night, she trotted down to our sweet ride and brought up six bottles. I'm on my first of those six and she's on #4. I seem to recall her mother once telling her that if she drank more water, it would be helpful to her complexion, and Natalie rolled her eyes at Holly. But it would appear that now, X years later, Natalie has taken that advice to heart.


Now for today's Dear Tom. We haven't received a response from Tom regarding yesterday's question yet, so we'll just go on with today's question.

Dear Tom,
Your daughter got you a magnet at Wal-Mart. (Lucky guy!) We've found quite a few pinecones along the beach. What up? We figured that pinecones grew further north of here.



I have the sneaky suspicion that today's entry is going to be short and uneventful as it is chilly outside and an NCIS marathon just came on USA. Other than contemplating trekking out to find a Subway for lunch, I'm thinking we'll be holed up here at the hotel. Gnarley is disgusted with us, but frankly, as he's from the Great White North, he's used to chilly temps. I do wonder what it is like in Indiana now, thought. Maybe I'll investigate that. I'll go ahead and post this now, and if something noteworthy happens later today (yes, we've been up all of 2hrs and 25 minutes), I'll make an addendum. Later!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Three

Today we woke up about 9:30 - although I miss my fluffy babies, it is SO nice not to be awoken by them at the butt-crack of dawn (generally with a butt in the face!) Actually, it was housekeeping rap-tap-tapping on our chamber door that woke us up. As Natalie scrubbed a days-worth of skank from her limbs, I took my bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch out on the balcony and communed with the waves from the 8th floor.

We got our towels, Gnarley's bucket, my book, our ipods and phones and trotted out to the beach. The wind was very chilly and our nakie footies on the cold sand and then in the cold water made it imperative that the morning's walk be cut short. But not so short that we don't have fodder for today's Dear Tom!

But first, Tom's response regarding yesterday's question. He says that the "nasty looking pile of goo was (sic) the beginning of a new mountain range." With answers like this, we may have to rethink our faith in Tom's knowledge. But on to today's question...

Dear Tom,

We found these weird shells on the beach. What are they from?

P.S., you'll note from the Dominos box, that I'm making sure your daughter is eating well.

Back to the day - Natalie and I headed out for a wee bit of shopping therapy and when we got back, found Gnarley on the balconey with evidence of a wee bit of debauchery. So, of course we joined in.

Then after a little computer research and pixelating magic by Natalie, we set out to David's Gallery to get me my Scarlet Pimpernel tattoo. For those of you who know the story, back in the 80's there was a made for TV movie of the Scarlet Pimpernel with Anthony Andrews and Jane Seymour in it. I loved the movie and since we had it taped, we watched it over and over, memorizing dialogue. ("Sink me." "Gone to the north country in the middle of the night? How bizarre." "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven? or is he in hell? GASP! That damned illusive Pimpernel!") Finally Dad put his foot down and made us tape over the movie. But it was a 3 hour movie! So first, say they taped an hour long show over it, well, when we finished watching that show, we'd watch the last 2 hours of the Scarlet Pimpernel. :) Finally, we were down to just the last 15 minutes. We watched that 15 minutes over and over again, until finally Dad just recorded over the whole 6 hour tape!

I now have the movie on DVD and watch it every so often for nostalgia! So minutes after getting my first tattoo, (see blog dated Sept 2008), I KNEW that my next tattoo had to be a scarlet pimpernel. Of course, then I got sidetracked by the cat tattoo that I needed to complete my paw prints (Feb 2009). But I'm here, with wee bit-o-discretional fundage, so we were off!

After what seemed like forever, we finally left. Me with a sore spot on my upper boobage. And we were starving, as we hadn't had anything to eat since the Peanut Butter Crunch mid-morning. So we headed to Lamberts Cafe (Home of the Throwed Roll). The grammar there gave Natalie considerable pause, but I'm thinking she enjoyed it as we both all but had to be rolled out of the restaurant. We came back to the hotel and Natalie surfed the web while I watched Lost. So now that Lost is over, I'm thinking it's time for bed. Natalie continues to surf, but my eyeballs are tired. The forecast for tomorrow is showers and high of 40, so I sense a day of indoor relaxation. Stay tuned.

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Two

Monday morning. I awake, blessedly on my own, rather than with the aid of an alarm or a cat. The view from the balcony is wonderful, although a little more sunny than that in the picture, because by the time that I thought to take a pic it got a little overcast.

Normally, my first instinct would have been to head on out for a walk on the beach, but two things stopped me. 1) my (as Natalie calls it,) chicken hair - thanks to the Darth Vader mask I wear to sleep in at night; and 2) my hair... well, not that styling, or lack thereof, but the color. I'd bought some color and wanted to do it this AM. After making the hair look presentable, and taking the aforementioned picture of the view, and checking my Treasure Madness on Facebook, we nabbed a couple of muffins from the stash of food we trundled down from the great north and hit the ... road!?

Yup, you read that right, we got in the car and drove, like, forever, to go to Wal-Mart AND Target. Gnarley needed a few accoutrements for the beach, Natalie wanted some shorts, and I'm sure I got something, but I can't think of anything at the moment... although Gnarley conveniently forgot his wallet, so I suppose I bought a bunch of crap for him!

We got back to the hotel, gathered our ipods and cameras and phones and hit the beach. The sand was chilly to the feet and the water was icy, but once the footsies got used to the temperature, the nerve endings in the feet died enough that we walked a fer piece down the beach.

This brings us to today's edition of Dear Tom.

Dear Tom, as we were walking down the beach we found a lot of this skanky looking foam (see picture). What is it?

Now back to our regularly-scheduled blog: At one point, we found a baby sting-ray upside down in a pool of tide water. It was spluttering at us and we felt bad for it, so Natalie got a stick and helped it turn over onto its tum... when we saw that the poor thing had a cut down its back.

After trotting back to the hotel, we washed our sandy feet off and hit the car to go in search of food, as all we'd eaten so far were a couple of my pumpkin-chocolate chip muffins. First, though, Souvenir City.

Dinner was at the Gulf Island Grill. Natalie had crabcakes and I had steak. It was yummy and we were stuffed. A little more shopping (a hat to cover my chicken hair in the morning, so I can have my walk pre-shower in the AM) and then back to the hotel to rest and watch some NCIS.

The forecast for tomorrow is sunny. I'm thinking the book, the ipod and the big ol'glass of Diet Pepsi and Rose'll spend the bulk of the day on the sand. I know Gnarley is ready. G'night!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day One

Let me tell you 'bout a story of a girl named Rose,
A sad landlocked Hoosier wanted sand between her toes.

So she grabbed her gnome and munchies and shoved 'em in the car

and headed down south to the Alabama shar

Shore, that is, white sand, white legs, white waves.

Dateline: Sunday, February 21st, 7am (or thereabouts). My neice Natalie and I packed up the rental car, an upgrade to a Dodge Journey. Between us, we had 2 laptops, two cameras, two cell phones, two ipods, 1 CPAP sleeping machine, 1 GPS (named Jason), and all of the corresponding adaptors, chargers, and connectors. NASA has nothing on the combined technology that is in this car!

A whopping 30 minutes into the trip, and we've stopped twice. Now, the first time was at McDonalds to get me some caffeine, and the second was to fill up with gas, but come on! We're still in Indiana!

Whew! Ok, the first rest stop we stop at, was in Tennessee. Gnarley struck up a conversation with the woman at the counter, and we could barely get him to get back in the car. She was dressed rather fancy for a job in a rest area. Hmm...

We drive on, jamming to the Sirius radio, mostly the 70's on 7, but also whatever DJ Natalie decides to land on. While we listen, she makes notes of songs I need to download to my ipod. She's a good secretary.

We cross over the Tennessee/Alabama border, and the first rest stop is easily identified by the NASA rocket by the road. Gnarley was very impressed and decided at that point that he'd have to investigate the requirements to becoming an astronaut. We didn't want to tell him that there was probably an age limit even if there wasn't a height requirement. Poor dude.

The next rest stop was manned by a rather dark guy. Frankly, Nats and I were wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible, but again, Gnarley strikes up this conversation. I'm not sure

where this chatty streak of his came from, but if we're going to get to the beach before midnight, he better curtail it.

We had to wake Jason up around Birmingham. Birmingham is the only city where I seriously considered hurting my mother once. We were driving back from the beach, on the Friday of Labor Day weekend one year, and while in Birmingham, we decided to take a side trip to see the statue of Vulcan and his naked butt (see the picture from the time, a couple years later, when Gnarley and Dad successfully navigated to Vulcan). Anyway, it was holiday/rush hour traffic, the construction, and Birmingham traffic is just awful. We had to just give up on Vulcan and mom lived to see another day. :)

After we left Birmingham, we noticed a distinct change in the trees along the road. There were all these tall skinny pine-like trees with no limbs for the bottom 2/3's of the tree. Nats texted Tom, her dad, my bro-in-law, and he was able to tell us that they were Georgia Pines. I asked why they were Georgia Pines, when we were in Alabama... and I don't think I got a satisfactory answer to that question. Either way, this leads us to a new feature to my blog. It is called "Dear Tom," and each day, I will ask Tom a burning question that Natalie and I have come up with during our travels. The first one will appear in tomorrow's column.

We made it to our hotel, the Island House Hotel, in right at 11 hours. We're on the 8th floor, and according to the desk clerk, we have the floor to ourselves. She just asked that we not run naked in the halls. I told her I'd try to control myself.

After hauling everything upstairs, we plugged our laptops on, checked out the wireless internet and I checked on my farm. We called our respective mommys to check in and then decided to venture forth and find some sustenance since the major food intake of the day was a big bag of cheesy poofs.

The woman at the desk suggested a restaurant called Cobalt. It was a little pricey to this Happy Meal woman, but the food was delicious. I had Cajun Chicken Alfredo with a glass of milk, and I was very glad for that milk, as the Cajun made its presence known very strongly.

At dinner, we discussed the fact that I didn't see the USA network on the list of television channels we get at the hotel, and how I didn't know if we'd survive an entire week without NCIS. But rest assured, dear readers, when we returned to the hotel, I double checked and we DO get USA. So you do not have to worry about either of us.

As we got comfortable for the night, Natalie sitting at the laptop, ripping music for me, I crawled into bed with the ads from Mom's Sunday paper, I folded up the crossword puzzle and my eyeballs told me it was time to go to bed. So the puzzle sits on the floor, my Darth Vader mask is on my face and it is time to go to bead. I'm sure tomorrow will hold more adventure and, hopefully, a lot of sun. G'night!