Vacation Blog '10 - Day Six - The Long and Winding Road

I told Natalie that we were getting up early to come home on Friday, but I failed to actually set an alarm. Fortunately my bladder was on its regular schedule and we awoke about 7-ish. We packed and and checked out (after a little flirting with Alex, the cute kid behind the desk), we were on the road by 8:30 am and feeling good about ourselves!

Just a couple of things prevented us from making the trip in a cool 11 hours like the trip down. First, mine and Natalie's bladders were not on the same schedule like they were on the trip down from Indiana, so our potty breaks were doubled. Second, we stopped for gas several times instead of just the once like on the trip down. And finally, there were a variety of side trips that had to be made. But I digress.

The mishap of the day happened about an hour into the trip when Natalie realized that she couldn't find her cell phone. So she used mine to call Alex at the front desk to see if they could look in the room to find it. After a couple of calls, supposedly housekeeping looked and didn't find it. Natalie thinks that it was in the bedlinens and that housekeeping probably accidentally washed it in with the sheets. And frankly that is a logical assumption in my book. However, just in case, we also called all of the restaurants that we visited since the last time she remembers having the phone. As of this writing, still no phone. I suppose I should have turned around and gone back to the hotel, but we were already an hour away and if we'd gone back, it would have added two more hours onto an already long trip. I still feel guilty though.

To make Natalie feel better about losing her phone, we stopped at what I think must be the official state restaurant of Alabama - Waffle House. I swear there were a good 20 Waffle Houses that we passed in Alabama! God alone knows how many we didn't see!

Back on the road, just past the Alabama/Tennessee state line, Gnarley pointed out that we probably ought to stop and get gas. I should have been able to see that he was up to something, but I stopped. When I get back in the car after filling up, he's gone! Where did we find him?? As you can see below, he was on his way across the parking lot to the Boobie Bungalow! Good thing Natalie can run fast! She caught and nabbed him, and I sped out of there. He spent the rest of the trip fuming in the back seat... didn't say much, but you could hear him muttering something about mutiny.

The remainder of the trip, I'm happy to say, was uneventful. We got back to Wadesville about 8:30, got all of our loot inside the house, and Rose was in bed by 10! Whew! A whirlwind trip if ever there was one and it's time for bed and to dream of the next adventure... of course, we'll have to keep a leash on Gnarley. G'night!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Five - The Final Hurrah

Today was our last day at the beach and the forecast was for high 50's and sunny. Natalie was determined to get some sun or die trying. So we got up at a leisurely 9:30-ish and after a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch, starting gathering our accoutrement for the beach. (Towels, flip-flops, books, phones, ipods, cameras, bucket, shovel, sunglasses, and sunscreen/oil.) As we arrived on the beach it felt nippy but good. We dumped our stuff for a walk on the sand and after like 3 feet, wimpy Natalie trotted back to the swimming pool/lounge chair area because it was warmer (less breezing) than the beach.

I braved the chill and took a lovely walk down the beach. I did not get my feet wet and that helped keep them warm. I found a bench made of sand and sat down to say a prayer for Sophie (that'll be another blog) and just generally absorb the waves, but then decided Natalie was right and it would be warmer by the swimming pool area.

This is a good time for today's Dear Tom, as it was on this walk that I found the subject of today's question. First the most recent word from Tom:

Natalie is correct, the holes in the sand when the tides goes out are air holes for little crabs (sand crabs, I believe). You can dig them out (they don't have shells) ... the sea gulls go nuts for them ... fine dining I suppose.

Thank you Tom. Now for today's question:

Dear Tom,

See this picture? Do you think this piece of flotsam/jetsom could be from the Dread Pirate Roberts' ship? Thank you for your assistance in making this week fun AND relatively educational. Now back to our blog...

So picture this (and no, I don't have any pics as I thought it would look creepy for me to be taking pics of Nat in a bikini), Natalie is in her bikini - covered in sunscreen/oil and all decked out on her towel, timing her laying out so she'll know when to flip over, doing everything she can for sun. I am sitting there, indian-style, fully-dressed (see above pic), with a hat on, reading a book. Guess who gets the sunburn. Yup, you guessed it. My nose is a shocking shade of red as is the skin that was above my neckline (fortunately not on my scarlet pimpernel, as I'm sure the dual itching caused by both would drive me to madness) and, oddly enough, the underside of my chin. Very weird. But we had a nice peaceful time listening to our pods and her snoozing and me reading my not-so-smutty book.

We didn't really go anywhere or do anything else for the rest of the day. There was a nap in the room, some more NCIS, and the playing of Treasure Madness. But along about 5-ish, the power of advertising wins us over and we decided that we really needed to find (and go to) an Olive Garden. We had two choices, Pensacola and Mobile. In retrospect, I may have been wrong, but I said the Pensacola one would be closer and easier to find. We were starving and therefore it made the trip all the more unbarably long, but thanks to Jason and the girl behind the counter at the Panera Breads in the mall at Pensacola, we found the Olive Garden. The two of us were seated at a lovely table for six! and we gorged ourselves on breadsticks, salad, and their newly advertised (thus our submission to the power of suggestion is complete) the Four Cheese Stuffed Pansotti with Chicken. It was delicious.

By the time we were ready to leave to go back to the hotel, Jason was ready to take a dirt nap. Frankly, we almost had to call Nat's parents and have them Mapquest directions for us back to the hotel. Fortunately for Jason, he was able to eek us back to a road that looked familiar before he died or else his dirt nap would have been long-term.

The day didn't hold much excitement, other than the potential for being lost in Florida, but we were tired and satisfied with our selves by the time we got back, so we watched Burn Notice and went to sleep. After all, tomorrow is another long car ride north!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Four - Part Deux

Ok, so as predicted, a big part of the day was spent as depicted in this picture.

Except you have to picture the TV about three feet behind Natalie showing the NCIS marathon.

But we did go out in search of food. Lunch was at Moe's Original Bar B Que. We got pulled pork (Nat got the sandwich, I just got the platter), mac & cheese, and she got green beans and I got potato salad. Everything was scrumptious. Natalie could not finish her sandwich, so she packed it in her purse. It is still there. :)

We came back to the hotel, spent more time on the net and with Gibbs and his crack team. About 4-ish, I realized that the sun was out. So after that episode of NCIS was over, I put on my pants and went out for a walk. The sun kept the hypothermia at bay while I walked about 2o minutes, but then the sun set and each of my little piggies started freezing one by one. The eleven of us made it to the hotel just in time.

At this point, I'll interrupt to bring today's information from Dear Tom. Frankly, don't get your hopes up, I'm losing faith in the man... sigh...

Tom says: The Georgia pine went on vacation and left one of its offspring behind. Also, the shells belong to Gary and another family member. He clearly took a break from Spongebob.

Hmm.. Ok, another question for today. Dear Tom, while walking down the beach, we notice that as the water goes back out, little holes/air bubbles appear in the sand. Natalie says that this is due to tiny creatures living in the sand. Can you identify these Lilliputians for us? (Sorry, I do not have a picture to accompany this question, so I've attached a picture of Winifred peeking out from the blankets on the bed.)

Dinner tonight was at a restaurant recommended to Natalie by the "cute-sounding" guy at the front desk, the Harbour Grill. It was a lovely restaurant. We were seated beside a quartet of snowbirds and between us, Natalie and I now know enough about their lives to write their biographies. Our waiter was from Spain, and today was his first day. We were, in fact, his second table. This fact became obvious after Natalie and I ordered the crab and brie quesadilla only to have him and some woman (possibly the manager?) come tell us that due to the cold weather they were out of (and therefore not able to serve) crab. Then, after giving our order to the manager-type woman, he kept coming back to ask us questions like what salad dressing we wanted, and he asked Natalie if she wanted a salad (as her entree did not come with one) three times!

That we were his only table was obvious because he kept coming and just standing and chatting non-intelligibly with us. We learned about the nightlife in Orange Beach, specifically his preference for gay bars, although he made it clear that he was straight and his love of travel. We learned that his friend, who wanted to be a pilot, was at a tomato festival of some sort in Spain where people throw tomatos, and he got hit in the eye with a tomato, and he is now a mechanic.

Meanwhile, one of the snowbirds told everyone about her two brothers (including the twin) who are going bald, another told that he was getting his license taken away (due to his age, one presumes) and another told about her nephew, the Michael Jackson impersonator. This meal takes the prize for being the most memorable.

When we returned to the hotel, Natalie took this picture of the "License Plate of the Trip" - it tickled us to no end. Well, that's it for today. We're tucked in and watching Psych and Burn Notice before turning in.

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Four

First, I woke up at a tad before 10AM!! Let me just say that this is not like me. But it sure is nice. The high today is supposed to be in the 40's and rainy. It isn't rainy, but as I stick my head out on the balcony, it sure is chilly! I've made the decision that late-March is good, but late February is cold! Yikes!

However, there are no regrets to my vacation. I haven't had anyone coming to me wanting anything for several days right now and it feels wonderful. Also, I'm really enjoying the time to get to know my neice. She's certainly a different girl. I have been reminded that she could talk to a brick wall. Yesterday afternoon, while we were at the tattoo place, she just rambled on and on. Too funny.

The other thing that I have discovered is that she has a severe drinking problem. Before we left, mom and I went shopping for snackies. I bought a 24-pack of bottled water. Mom said "you won't need that much water, will you?" I told her that we'd just bring home whatever we didn't drink. Well, Natty-boo chugged down 3 on her first day! Last night, she trotted down to our sweet ride and brought up six bottles. I'm on my first of those six and she's on #4. I seem to recall her mother once telling her that if she drank more water, it would be helpful to her complexion, and Natalie rolled her eyes at Holly. But it would appear that now, X years later, Natalie has taken that advice to heart.


Now for today's Dear Tom. We haven't received a response from Tom regarding yesterday's question yet, so we'll just go on with today's question.

Dear Tom,
Your daughter got you a magnet at Wal-Mart. (Lucky guy!) We've found quite a few pinecones along the beach. What up? We figured that pinecones grew further north of here.



I have the sneaky suspicion that today's entry is going to be short and uneventful as it is chilly outside and an NCIS marathon just came on USA. Other than contemplating trekking out to find a Subway for lunch, I'm thinking we'll be holed up here at the hotel. Gnarley is disgusted with us, but frankly, as he's from the Great White North, he's used to chilly temps. I do wonder what it is like in Indiana now, thought. Maybe I'll investigate that. I'll go ahead and post this now, and if something noteworthy happens later today (yes, we've been up all of 2hrs and 25 minutes), I'll make an addendum. Later!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Three

Today we woke up about 9:30 - although I miss my fluffy babies, it is SO nice not to be awoken by them at the butt-crack of dawn (generally with a butt in the face!) Actually, it was housekeeping rap-tap-tapping on our chamber door that woke us up. As Natalie scrubbed a days-worth of skank from her limbs, I took my bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch out on the balcony and communed with the waves from the 8th floor.

We got our towels, Gnarley's bucket, my book, our ipods and phones and trotted out to the beach. The wind was very chilly and our nakie footies on the cold sand and then in the cold water made it imperative that the morning's walk be cut short. But not so short that we don't have fodder for today's Dear Tom!

But first, Tom's response regarding yesterday's question. He says that the "nasty looking pile of goo was (sic) the beginning of a new mountain range." With answers like this, we may have to rethink our faith in Tom's knowledge. But on to today's question...

Dear Tom,

We found these weird shells on the beach. What are they from?

P.S., you'll note from the Dominos box, that I'm making sure your daughter is eating well.

Back to the day - Natalie and I headed out for a wee bit of shopping therapy and when we got back, found Gnarley on the balconey with evidence of a wee bit of debauchery. So, of course we joined in.

Then after a little computer research and pixelating magic by Natalie, we set out to David's Gallery to get me my Scarlet Pimpernel tattoo. For those of you who know the story, back in the 80's there was a made for TV movie of the Scarlet Pimpernel with Anthony Andrews and Jane Seymour in it. I loved the movie and since we had it taped, we watched it over and over, memorizing dialogue. ("Sink me." "Gone to the north country in the middle of the night? How bizarre." "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven? or is he in hell? GASP! That damned illusive Pimpernel!") Finally Dad put his foot down and made us tape over the movie. But it was a 3 hour movie! So first, say they taped an hour long show over it, well, when we finished watching that show, we'd watch the last 2 hours of the Scarlet Pimpernel. :) Finally, we were down to just the last 15 minutes. We watched that 15 minutes over and over again, until finally Dad just recorded over the whole 6 hour tape!

I now have the movie on DVD and watch it every so often for nostalgia! So minutes after getting my first tattoo, (see blog dated Sept 2008), I KNEW that my next tattoo had to be a scarlet pimpernel. Of course, then I got sidetracked by the cat tattoo that I needed to complete my paw prints (Feb 2009). But I'm here, with wee bit-o-discretional fundage, so we were off!

After what seemed like forever, we finally left. Me with a sore spot on my upper boobage. And we were starving, as we hadn't had anything to eat since the Peanut Butter Crunch mid-morning. So we headed to Lamberts Cafe (Home of the Throwed Roll). The grammar there gave Natalie considerable pause, but I'm thinking she enjoyed it as we both all but had to be rolled out of the restaurant. We came back to the hotel and Natalie surfed the web while I watched Lost. So now that Lost is over, I'm thinking it's time for bed. Natalie continues to surf, but my eyeballs are tired. The forecast for tomorrow is showers and high of 40, so I sense a day of indoor relaxation. Stay tuned.

Vacation Blog '10 - Day Two

Monday morning. I awake, blessedly on my own, rather than with the aid of an alarm or a cat. The view from the balcony is wonderful, although a little more sunny than that in the picture, because by the time that I thought to take a pic it got a little overcast.

Normally, my first instinct would have been to head on out for a walk on the beach, but two things stopped me. 1) my (as Natalie calls it,) chicken hair - thanks to the Darth Vader mask I wear to sleep in at night; and 2) my hair... well, not that styling, or lack thereof, but the color. I'd bought some color and wanted to do it this AM. After making the hair look presentable, and taking the aforementioned picture of the view, and checking my Treasure Madness on Facebook, we nabbed a couple of muffins from the stash of food we trundled down from the great north and hit the ... road!?

Yup, you read that right, we got in the car and drove, like, forever, to go to Wal-Mart AND Target. Gnarley needed a few accoutrements for the beach, Natalie wanted some shorts, and I'm sure I got something, but I can't think of anything at the moment... although Gnarley conveniently forgot his wallet, so I suppose I bought a bunch of crap for him!

We got back to the hotel, gathered our ipods and cameras and phones and hit the beach. The sand was chilly to the feet and the water was icy, but once the footsies got used to the temperature, the nerve endings in the feet died enough that we walked a fer piece down the beach.

This brings us to today's edition of Dear Tom.

Dear Tom, as we were walking down the beach we found a lot of this skanky looking foam (see picture). What is it?

Now back to our regularly-scheduled blog: At one point, we found a baby sting-ray upside down in a pool of tide water. It was spluttering at us and we felt bad for it, so Natalie got a stick and helped it turn over onto its tum... when we saw that the poor thing had a cut down its back.

After trotting back to the hotel, we washed our sandy feet off and hit the car to go in search of food, as all we'd eaten so far were a couple of my pumpkin-chocolate chip muffins. First, though, Souvenir City.

Dinner was at the Gulf Island Grill. Natalie had crabcakes and I had steak. It was yummy and we were stuffed. A little more shopping (a hat to cover my chicken hair in the morning, so I can have my walk pre-shower in the AM) and then back to the hotel to rest and watch some NCIS.

The forecast for tomorrow is sunny. I'm thinking the book, the ipod and the big ol'glass of Diet Pepsi and Rose'll spend the bulk of the day on the sand. I know Gnarley is ready. G'night!

Vacation Blog '10 - Day One

Let me tell you 'bout a story of a girl named Rose,
A sad landlocked Hoosier wanted sand between her toes.

So she grabbed her gnome and munchies and shoved 'em in the car

and headed down south to the Alabama shar

Shore, that is, white sand, white legs, white waves.

Dateline: Sunday, February 21st, 7am (or thereabouts). My neice Natalie and I packed up the rental car, an upgrade to a Dodge Journey. Between us, we had 2 laptops, two cameras, two cell phones, two ipods, 1 CPAP sleeping machine, 1 GPS (named Jason), and all of the corresponding adaptors, chargers, and connectors. NASA has nothing on the combined technology that is in this car!

A whopping 30 minutes into the trip, and we've stopped twice. Now, the first time was at McDonalds to get me some caffeine, and the second was to fill up with gas, but come on! We're still in Indiana!

Whew! Ok, the first rest stop we stop at, was in Tennessee. Gnarley struck up a conversation with the woman at the counter, and we could barely get him to get back in the car. She was dressed rather fancy for a job in a rest area. Hmm...

We drive on, jamming to the Sirius radio, mostly the 70's on 7, but also whatever DJ Natalie decides to land on. While we listen, she makes notes of songs I need to download to my ipod. She's a good secretary.

We cross over the Tennessee/Alabama border, and the first rest stop is easily identified by the NASA rocket by the road. Gnarley was very impressed and decided at that point that he'd have to investigate the requirements to becoming an astronaut. We didn't want to tell him that there was probably an age limit even if there wasn't a height requirement. Poor dude.

The next rest stop was manned by a rather dark guy. Frankly, Nats and I were wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible, but again, Gnarley strikes up this conversation. I'm not sure

where this chatty streak of his came from, but if we're going to get to the beach before midnight, he better curtail it.

We had to wake Jason up around Birmingham. Birmingham is the only city where I seriously considered hurting my mother once. We were driving back from the beach, on the Friday of Labor Day weekend one year, and while in Birmingham, we decided to take a side trip to see the statue of Vulcan and his naked butt (see the picture from the time, a couple years later, when Gnarley and Dad successfully navigated to Vulcan). Anyway, it was holiday/rush hour traffic, the construction, and Birmingham traffic is just awful. We had to just give up on Vulcan and mom lived to see another day. :)

After we left Birmingham, we noticed a distinct change in the trees along the road. There were all these tall skinny pine-like trees with no limbs for the bottom 2/3's of the tree. Nats texted Tom, her dad, my bro-in-law, and he was able to tell us that they were Georgia Pines. I asked why they were Georgia Pines, when we were in Alabama... and I don't think I got a satisfactory answer to that question. Either way, this leads us to a new feature to my blog. It is called "Dear Tom," and each day, I will ask Tom a burning question that Natalie and I have come up with during our travels. The first one will appear in tomorrow's column.

We made it to our hotel, the Island House Hotel, in right at 11 hours. We're on the 8th floor, and according to the desk clerk, we have the floor to ourselves. She just asked that we not run naked in the halls. I told her I'd try to control myself.

After hauling everything upstairs, we plugged our laptops on, checked out the wireless internet and I checked on my farm. We called our respective mommys to check in and then decided to venture forth and find some sustenance since the major food intake of the day was a big bag of cheesy poofs.

The woman at the desk suggested a restaurant called Cobalt. It was a little pricey to this Happy Meal woman, but the food was delicious. I had Cajun Chicken Alfredo with a glass of milk, and I was very glad for that milk, as the Cajun made its presence known very strongly.

At dinner, we discussed the fact that I didn't see the USA network on the list of television channels we get at the hotel, and how I didn't know if we'd survive an entire week without NCIS. But rest assured, dear readers, when we returned to the hotel, I double checked and we DO get USA. So you do not have to worry about either of us.

As we got comfortable for the night, Natalie sitting at the laptop, ripping music for me, I crawled into bed with the ads from Mom's Sunday paper, I folded up the crossword puzzle and my eyeballs told me it was time to go to bed. So the puzzle sits on the floor, my Darth Vader mask is on my face and it is time to go to bead. I'm sure tomorrow will hold more adventure and, hopefully, a lot of sun. G'night!

I Laminate, Therefore I Am

Apologies to Descartes for the title, here. We have a laminating machine at our office, and there is one attorney, who shall remain nameless, since I like my paycheck, who has his assistant laminate all sorts of crap (newspaper articles and such) and then he'll mail it to the people mentioned in the article with a note of congratulations. I assume it's a marketing tool. We jokingly call his assistant the "Laminating Queen." Doesn't really matter that assistants come and go, whoever his assistant is, she is the Laminating Queen.

Well, my point here is that Greg, one of the attorneys I've had the great fortune to work with (and I cannot say that about all of the attorneys I've worked with over the past 19 years), just came through asking us if we'd teach him how to laminate. The boy (I can call him that, he's 8 years younger than me - not to mention his child-like view on the world) was downright giddy at the prospect.

I asked Steve if he was feeling the urge to learn how to laminate, since I didn't want him feel left out or anything. He said that he was good in his ignorance re: laminating.

Just now, Greg bopped back downstairs from the laminator and he's proudly waving his first laminating job in the air for all to see. Ah, kids.. so easily entertained.

Oscar Review #2 - District 9

(Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen this movie, there may be information in this review that might be considered a “spoiler” - although I consciously try not to put major spoiler info in my reviews. Proceed with caution.)

For my second Oscar nominee viewing, I chose – well, Netflix sent – District 9. I only vaguely recalled the commercials for this and I thought there were aliens involved, but other than that, I didn’t know much else. However, to paraphrase Stephen Colbert, it was the “Craziest F%&$ing Thing I’ve Ever Seen.”

First, the premise. About twenty years ago, an alien ship comes and stops over Johannesburg (think Independence Day), and just sits there. After some time, the humans have to break into it and inside they find severely malnourished aliens. The ship had lost its command module so they couldn’t go anywhere or, I suppose, even leave the ship. The aliens are moved to a detention area in Johannesburg – the titular District 9. So time passes and District 9 becomes a violent, filthy slum (think Slumdog Millionaire) and the government hires a company, MNU, to go into District 9 and evict the aliens and move them to District 10, an area about 200 miles outside of Johannesburg. Needless to say, hilarity ensues! J

The film starts out in a documentary-esque format, obviously from the hindsight point of view, with talking heads commenting on the events from their comfy offices. The documentary follows Wikus van der Merwe (that’s what I’m going to name my first child, BTW), as he leads the group of humans into the District 9 to evict the “Prawns.” While inspecting the shack of one of the Prawns, Wikus finds and accidentally squirts a strange, inky black liquid in his face. Subsequently, he gets sick and starts turning into a Prawn (think The Fly) and he is taken into the custody of either MNU or the government, it was hard to tell, and they perform all sorts of medical experiments on him and discover that his DNA is merging with the Prawn DNA which allows him to use Prawn technology, specifically weapons and machines.

When the doctor prepares to hack off Wikus’ arm/flipper, Wikus makes a run for it and finds safety with a Prawn, Christopher Johnson, and his son. While hiding out, Wikus discovers that Johnson and his son have been searching for, and actually found, the lost command module from the ship that still sits above Johannesburg and that the mysterious liquid was a fuel of some sort to allow the thing to work. They get the command module working and there is a HUGE battle during which Wikus fights off the “bad guys” from MNU to allow Johnson and his son to reunite the module with the mother ship. At one point during this battle, I took my eyes away from the screen for just a minute and next thing I know, Wikus is roaming around in this Transformers/Iron Man type suit shooting the bad guys. I have NO idea where that came from.

But Johnson and his son are able to reunite with the mother ship (think E.T.) and fly home, presumably to round up troops and bring them back here to whoop earthling butt for putting their people through 20 years of slumdum.

Ok, having basically just given you the entire plot of this movie, I apologize if I spoiled any surprises for you. Rest assured, there is still plenty of stuff that I didn’t tell, so…

I have several observations about this movie. First, and in no particular order, it was directed by Peter Jackson of the Lord of the Rings fame. Having seen all of the LOTR movies, I can only ask what was this guy smoking to want to make this movie?? I didn’t expect to see Hobbits, but I was expecting a good ol’Independence Day type of movie – that was not what I got. I should have known better than to think that that type of movie would have been nominated for Best Picture. Duh! Rose.

Observation #2 – back to this being the “Craziest F%&$ing Thing I’ve Ever Seen” – I thought that “In Bruges” had the most f-words in it, but then I saw this movie. If they bleeped all of the f-words in this movie, the end result would sound like some new age weird techno-pop type music. With the one exception of a (relatively) tender phone call between Wikus and his wife, I can’t recall a single sentence that didn’t contain at least one f-word. In fact, after a while, I was thinking that if I could stomach watching the whole thing again (which I could not), I would attempt to count them.

Observation #3 – it may have been on purpose, I don’t know, but as I jokingly alluded to in my summary of the plot, it seemed like this movie couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. First, a documentary, next a shoot’em up. I saw it described as a “thriller” in a magazine.

There must be something to this movie that I missed because I can’t see WHY it was nominated for anything other than special effects. So having said all of this, I did not enjoy this movie. It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve sat through, but I’m glad I didn’t pay to go see it at the theater (technically, I didn’t pay anything, it’s mom’s Netflix account.) I just don’t see this winning the Best Picture.

Oscar Review #1 - Up!

(Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen this movie, there may be information in this review that might be considered a “spoiler” - although I consciously try not to put major spoiler info in my reviews. Proceed with caution.)

Anyone who actually KNOWS me would not be surprised that I chose the animated film for my first Oscar review. In fact, if Netflix didn’t have so many of the Oscar choices available, I could easily be convinced to make this my only Oscar review! Of course, I’m talking about “Up” - Pixar’s 2009 release featuring the voice of Ed Asner as Carl Frederickson, a crotchety old man who ties thousands of helium balloons to his house to float it to South America.

The movie starts out with Carl as a little boy, sitting in the theater watching a news-reel about the great explorer, Charles Muntz, and his attempt to prove the existence of a rare South American bird. Carl, the little boy, idolizes Muntz and is running around pretending to be him when he discovers a little girl, Ellie, doing the same thing. Ellie maintains a scrapbook of Muntz’s adventures and the back section of the scrapbook is empty, saved for her own adventures. She informs Carl that she intends to go to Paradise Falls, the place where Muntz does his exploring, someday. We then see time pass as they grow up, get married, and grow old together. Carl finds the scrapbook and remembers Ellie’s dream to go to Paradise Falls. He gets plane tickets and plans to surprise her, but before he can, she gets sick and subsequently dies. At this point in the movie, I’m bawling like a baby.

Flash forward to current times - Carl has a lonely existence in the same house he lived in with Ellie refusing all offers from the construction company who is building all around the house. (Picture the Bugs Bunny cartoon where he refuses to move his hole for the building of a super-highway and the thing ends up with the highway built around Bugs’ concrete-encased home.) Back to Carl. Events happen and he’s going to be put in a home. Carl appears to play along with the plan, but then when the men in the white suits come to pick him up, he lets loose the thousands of balloons he has attached to his house, and the house starts floating through the city. With a compass and the picture of South America from Ellie’s scrapbook, Carl sets course for Paradise Falls.

Shortly, Carl discovers that Russell, the Boy Scout who he’d previously sent on a snipe hunt to get rid of him, was a stowaway on the house. Carl, as I previously mentioned, is crotchety so they do not get along well. Along the way, Russell befriends a strange but friendly multi-colored bird who he names Kevin and a dog, Dug, whose owner has fixed him up with a collar that allows Dug to speak his thoughts. Of course, like most dogs, Dug’s thoughts aren’t very deep, centering mostly around smells and squirrels.

I don’t want to say much more, so as not to spoil any surprises. Nevertheless, hilarity ensues as one would expect from an animated movie and all turns out well. Carl learns a few lessons, including if you get rid of the baggage of the past, your load gets lightened enough that you can head out on adventures. Also, that life is an adventure, if you look at it with the right attitude. By the end of the movie, Carl has become a grandfather figure for Russell. They and Dug have many adventures.

I’m a fan of animated movies. I have been since I saw my first, Disney’s Robin Hood (which reminds me, Haley's supposed to be burning that soundtrack for me..), back in the .. um.. early 70’s. My criteria is simple, memorable characters (especially the kind that make good Happy Meal toys), a good story, good laughs, a few tears. Up met my criteria and then some. Two thumbs up for Up! It is movie that kids and adults will all enjoy. Mom and I both enjoyed it, so I can guarantee you it won’t win the Oscar, but there you go.

Is There Anything Worse than Sick Kids?

My babies have been sick the past couple of weeks with some respiratory virus that cats get. It’s related to the herpes virus and neither of my babies have ever gotten it before, so I blame Winifred. Winifred was sick with something when we first brought her indoors, and she’ll occasionally have the sniffles and sneezes ever since, but nothing major. I’ve taken to calling her Typhoid Winifred. I figure her immune system is, well, immune to this thing, but my babies had pure unadulterated immune systems and they caught it.

Well, first, Gizmo started sneezing. And if it hadn’t been rather pathetic, it would have been funny. He started sneezing on a Friday morning and by Saturday morning, he looked all feverish around the eyes. So I took him to the vet in case there was something they could do. Now, this was Giz’s first vet visit in a long time and he howled the entire way up there. Giz does not enjoy car rides… his theme song definitely is not “Life is a Highway”! Turns out the poor creature had a fever of 104 degrees. The vet gave him a shot of something and an Rx for me to give him at home. I got him home and drugged up and he slept the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday. By Monday, he was looking better and by Wednesday, he was back to wrestling with Winifred on the living room carpet.

Meanwhile, on Sunday evening, Sophie started sneezing. I took her to the vet Tuesday afternoon. She goes to the vet frequently, generally for hairball-related symptoms, so although she does mew on the drive up, it was nothing like with Gizmo. She and I listened to my book on CD. Now, her fever was not as bad as Gizmo’s – probably because I’d been slipping her some of Giz’s antibiotics. So the vet didn’t give her the “shot,” just more of the same antibiotic that Gizmo had been given.

Poor Sophie. Whereas Gizmo was running and playing and totally back to health, Sophie just got worse. For a day or two, she was forced to breathe through her mouth, which in a cat is just freaky. And because she was mouth-breathing, she was drooling. Also, she fights the medicine, so I end up getting some on her. By the following Saturday, she was a crusty, drooly, sticky mess. Just plum disgusting. But she must’ve been feeling somewhat better because she allowed me to plop her in the bathroom sink and soap up her crusty chin and try to clean up some of the ick. Unfortunately, a week later (and several scars for both me and Mom) she just wasn’t getting better. So I packed her up in her carrier and Mom drove her to the vet. She still had a slight fever and Mom told the vet about our issues with dosing her, so he gave her a shot of some antibiotic that is supposed to stay in her system and work for 14 days – to which I’m thinking WHY don’t you ALWAYS give us this?? Do you KNOW how many scars I have from trying to give her medicine!? Sigh.

That was Wednesday. Sophie spent the remainder of Wednesday and all of Thursday hidden under my bed. Once each morning and once each evening, I’d get done on the floor and talk soothingly to her, but otherwise leave her alone. I was SO happy this morning when I woke up and saw her peering at me from under the chair at my desk. And when I ambled into the bathroom for my shower, she followed me (as is her usual), albeit at a much slower pace. I’m happy to say that I think we’ve rounded the corner and she’ll keep improving.

Mama Always Said I Was Special...

Back in December, I and another girl here at work were informed that we were going to “get” to become “Special” Kentucky Notaries. Neither of us live in Kentucky and generally, you are only a notary for the state in which you live. But our firm has been doing more work in Kentucky and none of the employees here live in Kentucky, so something had to be done.

Low and behold, Kentucky has this “Special Commission” notary thing. So Julie and I were off, like a herd of turtles in our quest to become “Special.” So, you ask, what is the difference between becoming a “regular” notary and a “special” notary? Well, to become a regular notary, as with most states, you fill out the form, send a check for the bond and mail it to the secretary of state and a couple of weeks later you receive your certificate and your squeezie thingee.

To become “special,” there was still the lovely form, but instead of just mailing it with a check, this thing had some travelling to do. First, we had to take it to a clerk’s office in Kentucky and have them sign off on it. Henderson County is right across the bridge, about 20 miles round trip from the office, so one crisp day in December, we hopped into my little red wagon to take our forms to the Henderson County Clerk’s office.

Our first observation upon arriving at the Courthouse in Henderson is that there is absolutely NO security. You just walk right in. Not that I’m advocating such a thing, but if someone had it in their mind to do something malicious in a government building, this is the place to go… Anyway, we walk into the clerk’s office and a nice lady at the front looks at us and, without anyone saying a word, points us to the right. Julie and I happen to notice the sign that says “Marriage License” and points to the right. We looked at each other and decided that Henderson must be a more progressive county than we thought!

The lady behind this counter took our forms and wandered off in search of the clerk. After a couple of aborted attempts, she was finally successful and came back with the signed forms. She asked us if we were over the age of 18 and of sound mind – to which I responded, “as far as you know.” She returned the forms to us and we made our escape from Kentucky as quickly and orderly as we could before someone realized we didn’t belong there.

Then came the Christmas holidays and like a lot of people, our forms did some travelling. They were mailed to the KY Secretary of State in Frankfort. After the first of the year, another form came back from the Secretary of State and Jules and I zoomed back off to Henderson to pay the fee and be sworn in. Now here’s the fun part. We’d heard and joked about how when attorneys go to be sworn in for the Kentucky Bar, they have to swear that they haven’t participated in any duels. And I’ll be darned, if we didn’t have to do the same thing. The language that made us giggle a bit was basically that we “…have not fought a duel with deadly weapons within this state, nor out of it, nor have [we] sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel with deadly weapons, nor have [we] acted as second in carrying a challenge, nor aided or assisted any person…”


One would think that after being sworn in it would be over and we would be official, but no, the form made one final trip to Frankfort.

Today, we got our certificates, they even have a gold seal on them, and our squeezie thingees. So our quest has been successful and we are now Special Commission Notaries for Kentucky. Rose has another thing to put on her resume! Now I just need something to notarize….

Anyone Want to Go See a Movie?

The votes are in and the following have been nominated for Best Picture: "Avatar," "The Blind Side," "District 9," "An Education," "The Hurt Locker," "Inglourious Basterds," "Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire," "A Serious Man," "Up," "Up in the Air."

As my long time followers know, the only time I’m game to go see a "serious" movie is at Oscar time and any other time I’m more into explosions and fart jokes. But this year, with the expansion of the field from five movies to ten, I’m happy to say that there are several in the list that I’m half-way interested in going to go see. Although I will say that I was sort of hoping that Julie and Julia would be nominated since I’d already reviewed it. J

What follows here will be my movie-by-movie inner-waffling of which movies to spend my hard-earned fundage on. The actual reviews will be contained in separate blog entries.

"Avatar" – I’ve been told by various people that this is a great movie. And of course it’s already surpassed James Cameron’s previous behemoth, Titantic, in money. But I was holding out to see if it was nominated before spending the money to go see it. I’ve also been told that if I’m going to go, go for broke and spend the money to see it in 3-D at the IMAX. I think this is a definite.

"The Blind Side" – I wanted to see this movie after I saw the first preview of it last summer/fall. The only reason I didn’t immediately go see it was that I didn’t have the time, what with moving, and Christmas shopping, and holiday travel. Another definite.

"District 9" – I know almost nothing about this movie other than I think it involves aliens coming to Earth and being herded into the eponymous "District 9," a containment area of some sort (hilarity, no doubt, ensues). This one might be a possibility, but I’m flexible. We’ll see what my schedule is like.

"An Education" – I know absolutely nothing about this movie, but from the name, it sounds educational, so it is not on my "must see" list.

"The Hurt Locker" – ditto, only from the name, I’m guessing that not much hilarity ensues.

"Inglourious Basterds" – Looks good, involves killing Nazis and Brad Pitt (although he’s almost another one of those actors who, if he did nothing but read from the Dictionary for two hours, they’d nominate him for an Oscar!) From the commercials, hilarity definitely ensues… so a good possibility.

"Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire" – I know next to nothing about this movie – I think it involved a poor, black pregnant teenager. Sounds "deep" and therefore it is not high on my "must see" list.

"A Serious Man" – I know absolutely nothing about this movie.

"Up" – An animated picture, so there’s a plus on its side. There’s a talking dog ("Squirrel!"), so another plus. I would consider this to be a definite go see.

"Up in the Air" – Well, see now here’s my problem. First, this movie has George Clooney in it. And as I’m pointed out before, I just don’t "get" George Clooney. It’s like almost everything he’s ever been in (post the "Facts of Life" era) automatically gets the "Oscar-buzz." Is the man so faboo that anything he puts his name to is award-worthy? I just don’t think so. On the other hand, I’ve been told this is a great movie… but that was by a woman who has the hots for George Clooney… so how much of her opinion of the movie is based on her hots for him? I’m not going to put this one on a list, either the "Most Likely See" list or the "Eww" list. We’ll see how things work out with my time and money as to whether or not I go see this one.

So, to sum up:

Most Likely See: Avatar, The Blind Side, Inglourious Basterds, and Up

Eww: An Education, The Hurt Locker, Precious, and A Serious Man

Like, Either Way, Man: District 9 and Up in the Air

Let the movie-going begin!! Where’s my popcorn?

Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water... I Will Comfort You...

As I think I’ve discussed previously, for the past year and almost a half, since October 2008, I’ve been doing my job as well as a goodly amount of the subrogation responsibilities. I was given these responsibilities as a stop-gap measure until other arrangements could be made for this work. However, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I find it hard to squeak. And frankly, the OT bucks were very nice, coming in handy to pay off my Discover card bill. But things couldn’t continue in this vein forever.

So beginning a month or so ago, the cracks began to show. I should have recognized the signs. I’ve been struggling with Kelly Bundy Syndrome for a couple of months, but I just chalked that up to extended senior moments and vitamin D deficiency. But last week, I lost it. There was this big project that I was working on for Steve, even working 9 hours on a Sunday. He was being very needy, and I found myself not being myself anymore, snarking at him, or anyone, really, and crying at the drop of a hat. Fortunately it would appear that even when I think I’m being a completely unreasonable bitch, other people just think I’m "off" from my usual. So obviously it’s not as bad to others as it appears to me. Which I suppose is good. That week I drove home more than one night in tears.

Then a week ago Monday, I lost it. I was working on an Excel spreadsheet (another project of Steve’s) and had a question about it, so I went to Shawn (our HR person)’s office. I know, I know, we have an IT Department, but don’t get me started on that or we’ll never get to the end of this story. In the process of discussing my question in Excel, I broke down in tears and blubbered out my story. It hadn’t come as a shock, as she’d been watching it slowly happen. Ok, that sounds bad, but I don’t think she was waiting with glee or anything, just she expected it sometime. Plus she’d been helping with the big project for Steve.

As it turned out, Steve was in the office next to her office talking to the attorney in there and she saw him leaving and asked me if I wanted her to get him. In a moment of weakness, I nodded my head yes. Now, if I had not been blind with snot and tears, I probably would have laughed at what I can only imagine Steve’s reaction to walking into a room and seeing me there blubbering was. He gets this uneasy grin on his face when he’s not sure what’s going on – I can see it in my head now.

Anyway, I managed to blubber my woes out again. Basically everyone - Steve, Carrie (who was not in the meeting, but would have been happy that it happened, as I’d broken down in her office the previous week), and Shawn – all agreed that I’d been doing the work of at least 2, if not 3, people for a year and more, and it was time to remove some of that responsibility from my shoulders. Now I, being a control freak, hate the idea of not being able to do something, and I just know that if the job goes from me to someone else (it doesn’t matter who), that person will NOT be able to do it as well as I did it, so the client’ll suffer and the whole world will go to heck in a handbasket. Now, rationally, I realize that isn’t the case, but I’m saying what my irrational self goes through.

Steve, Lord love him, jumps at the chance to remove subro from my life (with, according to my mother, more than just a little self-interest). Subro is a beast and it needs continual feeding. There were several parts of subro that I was responsible for: the filing of suits, monthly reports and disbursal to the client, and dealing with the files in settlement status. After all of the fallout, the parts of subro that I was doing are being doled out to three different people. Something that makes me feel sort of proud that I was doing so much, but also sort of pisses me off that it’s so much work that it gets divided amongst three people, but that while I was doing it all and not complaining, "we" didn’t have a problem letting me do it all. Sigh. I guess that’s why I earn the big bucks…. and the OT was nice.

Long story short, the pain in my lower back disappeared THE DAY that I broke down in Shawn’s office, it was obviously psychosomatic, and I’m not dreading coming to work like I had been. I’ve planned my vacation… but that’ll be another blog. And I’m going through separation anxiety while doling out the subro work I was doing. Not all of it, mind you. I had really got to the point where I was hating having to file the suits.. mostly, though, because I was having to obtain copies of the forms that each piddly county in Indiana uses for their small claims cases and then make that document into a merge form. Note to our elected officials: couldn’t you find one form and make it the official small claims form for the entire state??